Tree of Life by *KLR620 at DeviantArt.com
I’ve been having this restless, edgy feeling for the past few days. It’s an uneasy feeling; like the feeling you get when you have been cooped up too long. Like you just want to get out and go do something.
I guess I could attribute it to the weather. It has been grey and too cold for me. And I’ve been heads down on my computer for more consecutive hours than is normal for me.
But that isn’t really where it comes from – this edgy, restless feeling. It’s coming from a deeper place. It’s a place I can see and sense when I close my eyes and am quiet and still. And so I do close my eyes and I see.
Myself in a box or not quite a real box but something of a box with a barrier that prevents me from going out. It could be bars, or a force-field. It doesn’t matter. I just can’t get out. And so I sit right down in the middle and I realize I am the only one here. This box and these barriers are mine. I made them, I feel them, I experience them.
If that’s so, then I imagine them gone. And they are. And I sit there in wonder and a bit of trepidation. Now what?
I had really wanted to go out when I had barriers. In fact, I wanted out so much that I gave little attention to what was beyond the bars. Now that they are gone I look out and I really don’t see anything. It isn’t black or empty. It’s more like … absent, unformed. I wonder if I should head out into the absent, unformed place beyond where my bars were. It isn’t what I have known or what I had expected, or imaged I would expect. It is unknown. But what else is there to do? Sit in the middle of my box, now without bars, in contemplation of what I should do?
And so, I step out into that space that isn’t anything and I realize I am standing in ‘the un-manifest.’And here’s where the mind-bender kicks in. If this is the un-manifest then I can manifest whatever I like, whatever I want. Very well. Certainly I can do that.
And so I turn my mind to creating and the very first thing it does is go immediately to what it knows – my box. My mind and I have been in that box and that is what we know and so that is what we draw from to create in this un-manifest space. But didn’t I just walk out of that box? Why would I want to fill this un-manifest space full of any and all potential with my same old box?
Well, let me tell you, I certainly don’t want to re-create my box. I have to believe there is more. And so I stop my mind and stand still.
And you know what happens next? My heart begins to flow into the un-manifest like water – at once soft and hard, yielding and asserting. And true creation begins to unfold…
And then I open my eyes.
And I see my home and my family. My one boy reading, my other boy sliding through the house on rollerblades, my little girl calling to daddy to help.
And I realize that each and everyone of us is, in our own way, finding our way to who we need to be – to be able to create anew. To leave behind the boxes that currently can be seen as politically divisive rhetoric, the compromised financial and housing industries, the oceans teaming with plastics… You know the box.
I invite you to join me in the un-manifest. Amazing new things await us.
Well said… I’m walking w/ you
Very well explained. I’ve embraced this new journey and have experienced amazing results all the while feeling a sense of self that this is where I need to be right this moment. Thank you for showing me how to get out of my own created box. I’m looking forward to the journey.
Thanks Judith, beautifull writing absolutly love it !!!! My “box” has just blown open and I am on my way.
Judith,
What beautiful, expressive writing. You touched a place that exists in all of us, I believe. All search, but not all discover new and meaningful territory. I find sometimes this tugging on my gut into somewhere unknown, is God’s invitation to join him. Blessings to you on your journey.
Hi Judith,
Thank you for so eloquently stating what is universally felt. There is a yearning that exists and for each of us it must be answered in our own personal way. That is why God offers Himself to us in a one to one relationship. My struggles are not the same as yours and the struggles you have at this moment, will not be the same ones you face 5 years from now. God is reaching out to you and you are sensitive enough to feel it. It is the peace beyond understanding that I have sought and my faith is where I found it. May Christ bless you and keep you as you seek to fill your spaces. You are absolutely correct, it is freeing. It is also joy filled with faith.
Judith,
Reading this really moved me into a sea of emotions. It felt good to feel the lump in my throat as I could relate to you on so many levels. Then I remembered that in the Chakra system, the throat is the beginning, the unknown, the un-manifest. You are a beautiful writer, thinker and person. Thanks for all your inspiration you provide me and the world.
I am always so touched to read everyone’s comments. It is immensely reassuring to know that there are many of us responding to the tug, the yearning.
Personally, I believe it is our call from the Divine to make the way ready for our younger generation.
Lauren, thanks for reminding me of the throat Chakra.
Blessings to all.
less is more… manifest
thank you for the message